


Never Dance Again

by Luxwinggo



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Poor Magnus, oh well, this was gonna be a bigger thing and i honestly never got around to it oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 19:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21002939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luxwinggo/pseuds/Luxwinggo
Summary: There would be much to do in order to fix this land they called home, but that was a trouble for tomorrow.Tonight, they celebrated. Tonight, they danced.At the edge of the festivities on one of the many fallen trees, Magnus watched them.---In which Magnus watches his friends and family heal and realizes he still hurts.





	Never Dance Again

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my drive for a good three-four months because I thought this was gonna be the first part of something longer but I honestly just lost whatever I had and figured this would do better out there than just rotting away. I guess this was an attempt at hurt with no comfort but like...I dunno. I barely remember writing this but it seems finished enough to toss out here.
> 
> One day I'll finish other stuff. Today is not that day. Tomorrow...eh.

The world didn't end. In a way, overcoming the Hunger made the world feel like it started anew. Everyone felt like their lives had begun all over again. Old memories and old friends returned and embraced by all around him and his old family mixing with their new ones. What was a battlefield of nightmares just hours before had become a massive celebration. Bonfires and music spread out over the scorched and broken ground filled with people crying and laughing, shouting and remembering. There would be much to do in order to fix this land they called home, but that was a trouble for tomorrow. 

Tonight, they celebrated. Tonight, they danced.

At the edge of the festivities on one of the many fallen trees, Magnus watched them.

Barry and Lup... How could anyone explain them? The lovers had perfected the art of dancing so intimately without ever touching. Years of practicing during cycles where one or the other died certainly helped. The way Barry managed to move through the swirling red ghost of Lup was awe inspiring and an impressive group was already gathered around them, eyes glowing with admiration. Lups laughter was intoxicating, even without the phantasmal echo. They were always a sight together - even now after reuniting they acted as though they had never spent an hour apart.

Watching them made Magnus's heart glow for them, but he couldn't escape the ache that crept inside him.

From the sidelines of the crowd, Magnus could see Taako watching the display as well. Beside him was Kravitz of course, looking slightly out of place as he shifted on his feet. Taako scoffed at his sister's laugh, suddenly jerking the Reaper beside him and grasping his hands. Kravitz tried to follow him, smiling but confused as Taako motioned for him to follow his lead. Their dancing was…very Taako. Kravitz moved with regality, or at least tried to as Taako jerked him around in a combination of salsa and breakdancing. Magnus couldn't stifle the laugh as he watched them. It wasn't a laugh at their expense, only one of joy seeing them finally together in front of everyone. 

Exactly where they belonged, Magnus thought. 

Beyond the crowd of excited hooting and laughter were Carey and Killian. Not dancing, so much as they were holding one another in a swaying embrace. Killian had proposed to Carey in the heat of battle, because of course she did. Now, the two of them had their heads pressed together, mouths in permanent smiles and tear stains still fresh on their scarred and bruised cheeks. On Careys finger was the rosewood ring Magnus carved, now standing for a promise of love. A promise for a future together. 

The chain on Magnus's neck felt heavier the longer he lingered. He absently reached up and felt the outline of the ring that hung under his tunic. Magnus hoped Carey and Killian would have a long future together.

A familiar laugh erupted nearby and Magnus turned to see Merle waving his arms wildly, swinging what he assumed was an empty wine bottle and shouting merrily. The dwarf’s animated gestures and excited voice told the story of their triumph two his audience of a whole two: of course there was Angus McDonald, broken glasses and all, sitting wide eyed and enamored with every detail. Face covered in dirt and bruises, he looked so much younger than Magnus remembered. Beside him sat the greatest pilot in existence, leaning back and a sincere smile under his red mustache as he watched Merle spin. Davenport was a man lost for so long, to suddenly have yourself returned to you when it was taken without permission… He looked far too tired. 

But, Davenports eyes held a light to them Magnus hadn't seen in decades. He watched Merle move with such a warmth in his tired eyes that Magnus didn't think it was possible to see that ever again. There was pain beneath them still, but…

Magnus hesitated at the thought. There would always be pain. Recovery never meant losing all that pain, only dulling and coexisting with it.

Though, when you’ve lived a hundred years too long...

His thoughts were pulled back to the present when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Magnus jerked up to see Avi practically leaning on him, wearing a dazed grin and wincing slightly under a broken nose and god knows what else. "Heya, big guy. Mind if I join you?" 

Magnus smiled back, shaking his head as he gestured to the seat beside him. Avi stepped over the log and flopped himself straight on the ground, leaning his back against the trunk. He pulled a tarnished flash out from his ruined uniform coat and raised it at Magnus. "Hellova night, huh," Avvi mumbled before pulling a long drink from the flask, then offered it to Magnus. 

Magnus eyed him, then at the flask waved at him. He couldn't remember if he'd actually seen Avi drunk before. Buzzed, of course, but never drunk, he thought as he politely turned the drink down. 

Avvi shrugged, taking another drink before tossing the empty flask aside and sighing. "Surprised you aren't out there with your, uh... space buddies, huh?"

Magnus snorted. "After everything I just… kinda wanted to think, you know?" 

Avi shrugged again. "I guess losing a hundred years of shit makes you wanna think. Can't relate." The two of them watched the festivities in silence for a moment. The several bonfires and lamps threw shadows over the field as people laughed and cried in their light. It was amazing to think it was a warzone just a few hours ago. A smile spread on Avi’s face again as he pointed out to the crowd. “I’m glad she’s having fun.”

Magnus followed Avi’s gaze towards one of the bonfires and saw Lucretia. She looked so tired, so old compared to the Lucretia Magnus now remembered. Her smile, though, hadn’t changed. She stood surrounded by a crowd of people all talking and waving at her excitedly, no doubt all talking about her amazing tale of the Starblaster and the seven travelers from another world. Her eyes were brighter than they’ve ever been.

Magnus smiled. “She’s not alone anymore.”

Avi nodded. “Yeah.”

They watched the world move around them in silence. Magnus felt like an outsider suddenly, seeing people smile and laugh without him. He could join them, he thought. He should join them. They were his friends and family, why wouldn’t they want him there?

Still, Magnus didn’t move.

“It’s not fair.”

Looking down, Magnus realized Avi was staring at him, eyes bleary and red. “How do you mean?”

Avi gave an exaggerated shrug and looked back to the crowd. “Like, it just ain’t fair, you know? Sure, we all fuckin’...lived. Saved the world...fuck,  _ worlds _ , I guess.” He sniffed loudly and Magnus felt his shoulders sag. “But just...it ain’t fair what it took. Ain’t fair what we lost.” Avi wiped a hand down his face, letting it fall to his lap limply. “Ain’t fair  _ who _ we lost…”

Magnus hesitated before reaching out for Avi’s shoulder, but was pushed away weakly. “I ain’t...you know, I ain’t saying this for pity or shit. I just seems fucked up to...to be celebrating, you know?” Avi closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the log. Magnus could see the tears peeking from the corners of the man’s eyes and his chest tightened. “Everyone’ll remember and shit but...fuck is that worth if  _ he’s _ gone…”

Slowly, Magnus scooted off the tree to seat himself beside Avi. Again he placed a hand on his shoulder. This time, Avi didn’t move to brush it away. Magnus spoke to him softly. “It’s...not fair. Losing someone we love is never about fairness. It’s never about what we want or don’t want.” He paused. “And like...love makes us greedy, I guess? Because when we lose them we only want ‘em back.”

Avi opened his eyes and looked at Magnus. “...yeah.”

“And, like...it’s okay to want them back. That want is why we hurt, I think. And after a while, we go from wanting them back to wanting to remember the times we had that made us love them. In a way, that kinda brings them back to us and it stops hurting so much.”

Avi smiled. “But...it’s never gonna stop hurting though, huh?”

Magnus paused, reflexively grabbing the front of his shirt again. He smiled at Avi and shook his head.

Avi closed his eyes again. “I know.” A sob shook him. “...this sucks.”

“Yeah.” Magnus patted Avi’s shoulder. “And that’s okay.”

\----

Time passed. The fires began to die down and the music faded. Avi began snoring softly, now leaning against Magnus’s shoulder as the fighter watched his friends continue on together.

_ It’s never gonna stop hurting. _

Magnus was happy for his friends. Taako wasn’t alone anymore. Merle had his faith renewed and his captain returned. Barry and Lup were together again. Davenport was no longer lost. Lucretia had a family and a world full of friends.

The world was finally safe. All the worlds were finally safe. Their mission was over once and for all. 

And all Magnus could think of was how he felt more alone now than he ever had.


End file.
